Jan 21 2009
Not So Here
Some days like these I feel left out more then others. This is the first day in a long time I have felt very very lonely to the point where I feel like my life is nothing but a fragment of what I use to be. With everyone around me moving so fast and myself not moving but staring wondering why… Depression to me is like an evil being that tugs at my heart. Sometimes I feel like running away and finding my life somewhere else. Because of where I live and how my life is right now I feel closed and claustrophobic. As I curl in bed wondering and pondering where I will go what I will do and if I can do it, pondering is all its is. i just feel the world is on my case to do something with my life even though my life doesnt feel like anything. alone i am with my tears, in the million year swell that i am. and to cuddle with the feline it feels so wrong because of what i cant have and what i need. With these four walls closing in and my life crawling slowly, my world just seems
not so here
